Delivered to Training - or "Just Rip Out My Heart"

Well, I've successfully delivered my little Beauty back into capable hands. And by this, I mean to say, I've again elicited help for a horsey-dilemma that I am totally incompetent to handle.  All of the "buck blogs" noted earlier were the reason that this was an inevitability. I admit it - I'm not able to handle this and have asked for help.  And this admission has caused me some shame, I admit.  What do I mean, "I'm not capable?" Does that mean that I'm just not willing to put in the time?  Does that mean that I'm not willing to study the problem enough to come up with a solution?  Maybe.  But, I think at the core - it's just plain old fear.  I LOVE my life now. I love the fact that I own 2 amazing horses.  I can now go out anytime I want and bury my face in their necks and smell in that wonderful scent that I longed to smell as a horseless child. This was my dream, and it's now my reality!  But, I'm also practical.  What good is any of this going to do me if I get bucked off (by my 'sweet little Beauty') and break my neck?  Nada, that's what! 

So, yes, again, I've delivered her into the hands of those that are more capable.  Matt, Beauty's handsome cowboy, is unfortunately leaving in a week.  I'm sad to see him go but happy for his new life. He will always hold a very special place in my heart as one who loved my 'sweet little Beauty' as I do.  Beauty is by now out to pasture with the herd, learning her place again.  Last year, Dave said, "She's just above the mules" which meant about #26 in a herd of 28 or so.

This is a good thing, yet, I feel so empty without her!  I know she is going to come home in 2 months being a much better mount for me than she was when I delivered her.  I know she will have her manners back in place, and will have learned how to take off at a canter and not get so upset by it that she wants to remove her rider.  All good things, but I miss her.  I'm sure this will mellow a bit once a week or so has gone by.  Then I'll start looking at my phone and checking e-mail waiting for the update call or message.  Is she safe?  Has she gotten hurt?  Is she having a good time or is she miserable?  (Does she miss me?)

In the meantime, I now have more time to focus on Jeffrey (probably much to his chagrin!).  I've let him get away with murder lately in my distraction with getting Beauty ready to send off.  He has reverted back to his old spooky ways - snorting at leaves blowing on trees, or a errant plastic bag or piece of paper on the ground.  We have much to work on.  My short term goal over the next two months is to practice my canter with Jeffrey. He is more forgiving of my mistakes.  Plus, I figure if I can get the canter nice and smooth on this big gangly guy, with Beauty, it will be easy!

So, here we go! Two months without my Beauty. It will fly by I know.  I will reawaken my cherished relationship with Jeffrey as I anxiously await her return.